


Drifting Alone

by RedHeadWithaPen



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Butterflies, Cry for help reference, F/M, Feelings of Abandonment, Getting to Know Each Other, Hypnotism, Misunderstandings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Protective Ruby, References to Depression, Regret, Siren Spinel, Sleep Deprivation, Spooky, Steven Universe Future, Timeskip, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:09:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25533385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedHeadWithaPen/pseuds/RedHeadWithaPen
Summary: Steven looked after everyone for so long, he doesn't know how to care for himself so it takes a specially designed gem to step in!...Whether he wants her or not.
Relationships: Spinel/Steven Universe
Comments: 107
Kudos: 109





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> And so begins a new project....

_"_ _This is Peridot transmitting on all frequencies from abandoned crystal system colony planet Earth, to Yellow Diamond. My mission has been compromised, my escort and informant are gone and I am now stranded! Please send help!"_

_Amongst the silence, a branch snapped._

* * *

Steven clicked and ended his phone call before sighing with relief. Having explained to Connie what the weird call for help was on the tv, he wanted to finish the Crying Breakfast Friends episode with the Crystal Gems. But as he glanced over down to the kitchen, he realised that wasn't going to happen.

Garnet had stormed off into her room, Amethyst had tried to talk to Pearl but after receiving no response, she too stormed off into _her_ room. Which then left Steven alone with Pearl, who was continuously wiped the same plate, her mind clearly somewhere else, desperately trying to keep herself together.

Steven didn't really know what to do. He wanted to go over and talked to Pearl or even hug her, but he knew that'd likely set her off crying. He... didn't like seeing her cry. A sharp pain of guilt was often felt through his gut when she cried, or through his gem-

So as quietly as possible, Steven went outside his stomach grumbling for some food. On his way he put his hands into his pockets and shuddered, not realising how chilly it was, "Maybe I should ask dad to get me a jacket?" He thought.

Shrugging that thought off for now, he made his way to the Big Donut. It was Sadie on shift, she looked tired and didn't have much time to listen to him today. He took the hint, grabbed the bag of mixed donuts and left. Ignoring her yelling at Lars to do some work as he closed the door.

Everyone was mad today but he knew it wasn't directed at him but he would've liked someone to at least ask how he was. Even Connie was more concerned for Pearl and Garnet then him, which given the context, he understood but, a 'how are you?' would've been amazing.

He sat down on the bench that overlooked the sea and took a bite out of a strawberry filled donut. The sun was setting but Steven didn't mind much, he listened to the waves crash against the shore and continued to eat the last few donuts.

After finishing them off and putting the bag into the nearby bin. He sat back against the bench and watched as the last thin line of the sun, finally disappeared beneath the water.

He closed his eyes for just a moment and let his head rest back on his shoulders. Just resting, letting time go by with no thoughts. He'd worry about the Crystal Gems later, but for now, he'd peek open his eyes and look at the night sky and the weird shaped clouds that looked as though something had crashed through them.

"Wait..." He sat upright and glanced around the sand, aligning where the clouds are and the beach... He stood and ran towards the edge of the water, his shield out. He looked up again and took a turn back towards his home.

He ran for a bit, looking at the edge of the water for a while. But eventually he stopped, his shield long gone, and absolutely out of breath. He looked again at the sky, but the clouds had now long gone. Frustrated he wanted to know what else could ruin his day.

"Steven!"

He stopped looking at the sea and saw Pearl standing at the door of the house, Amethyst was by her side, looking equally as worried. As though he'd been gone for days. He almost wanted to relish the feeling, knowing that they were worried, it was in a weird way, desired and welcomed.

With a newfound spring in his step, he tried to forget about the weird clouds for now and took off back to his home. Where Pearl and Amethyst wrapped him up in a blanket, giving him a warm drink and holding him until he drifted off to sleep.

It was probably nothing anyway.


	2. Here we are in the future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...And it's wrong.

  
Seagulls squawking and the sound of his front door locking woke him from his restless night. Unlike when he was a child, the memory type dreams had ended, as well as the ones he could control. They were usually quick or nothing at all as he found himself tossing and turning frequently through the night. Last night was no different.

He glanced at the alarm next to his bed, confirming what he suspected, _"Only a few hours sleep..."_ He grumbled, rubbing his sore eyes in frustration, _"Better than last night at least."_ Steven sat upright and stretched in his bed. It was eerily quiet in the house, which had undergone so many changes itself over the years.

Some mornings he'd look across the room and expected to see the small tv at the end of his bed, with the warp pad visible to the far right. But the walls around his room meant he could have privacy, for a growing child, it was welcomed especially considering the increasing amount of gems that would pass through the house before the Little Homeworld warp pad had been fitted.

As thankful as he was to Bismuth for building his house again, after the diamonds had destroyed it. He found that it didn't have the same feelings attached to it. His former home was built with love and the desire to have Steven move in with the gems. They _wanted_ him there with them.

There was relief when it was rebuilt as living with his dad in a small van wasn't as cosy as it used to be. Having his own space was nice but, by then the gems were beginning to leave him alone as they meet with former friends.

They probably had good intentions, giving Steven the space for himself but that meant that there was almost no excitement for moving back in. Whereas when he was a child it meant he could become a Crystal Gem. Now, he just was expected to live here. Which should be fine but... nothing was 'fine' anymore.

_It was dull and tiring._

Now he found himself in a routine which was; getting up in the morning, having a wash and change into clean clothes, have breakfast and check to see if Connie was up for going out. No longer unexpected, she was busy studying or staying over at other friend's houses... to study.

Steven kicks himself sometimes for not going to school. If Connie can't or won't go out then he'd go to a private spot which was almost hidden. A space that he'd found by mistake. But a welcomed mistake.

He packed a bag before grabbing the keys to his car. It wasn't too far from Beach City and it required him to drive by Little Homeworld, which has been open for over a month now, when it was complete and everyone was there, he hoped to find his own place amongst the gems.

It was supposed to be the start of an exciting new future as he proposed to the Crystal gems about being a teacher but there wasn't much interest in what he had to teach as it was stuff that everyone taught in their own ways.

* * *

_It was just him, Garnet, Pearl and Amethyst, he'd put together a presentation for them all. He'd worked hard on it and felt that maybe he could help someone, but before Pearl and Amethyst could comment Garnet raised her hand to stop them talking, "I'm sorry Steven but I can't foresee it working in any future." Garnet flicked her glasses, "But I can foresee your disappointment..." She stood to his side and put a hand on his back and rubbed it to comfort him._

_Pearl and Amethyst looked at each other, Steven could feel the pity looks from them. He hated that feeling so he straightened up and smiled, "No worries!" He held his hands out, "I'm sure I can find something else to do, even if it doesn't involve Little Homeworld!" He ran a hand through his hair and laughed._

_The response took them all by surprise but Garnet smiled and the others relaxed, perhaps she hadn't looked beyond that event. Pearl clapped her hands, "Still a wonderful presentation Steven!"_

_"Yeah! It was great!" Amethyst pitched in._

_Garnet patted his shoulder, "I'm certain you can." with that, she and the other two headed towards the warp pad, "We need to head out but we will see you later... and Steven?"_

_Steven looked at her with a grin, "I love you too." He made a heart with his hands and winked._

_Garnet smiled and disappeared, leaving Steven stood in the kitchen, alone again._

* * *

It wasn't brought up again after that. Which has lead to him getting in his car and driving to his newfound spot that no one seemed to visit and where he could play around with his powers without getting any weird looks.

As he drove past a field of flowers located on the outskirts of Beach City, he remembered how he'd pick up Connie and they'd go driving around. They used to kiss but... after the proposal... the feelings felt wrong.

Steven tried to carry on as 'normal' after that but Connie was seemingly always busy with her education and other friends that, Steven felt it wasn't mutual anymore. The thought of ignoring her messages and calls, like she had once done, was tempting. But she was the only contact she had left besides his dad that was human. Peedee, Lars, Sadie, the cool kids and even Onion had moved on.

He sighed and clutched his aching gem, parking his car in a carpark which was based at the bottom of a hikers trek. He stopped the engine and grabbed his phone, their was no messages or missed calls so he switched it off and tossed it aside, leaving it in the car making sure to grab the bag he'd packed earlier which had a blanket, a sandwich, an apple and bottle of water in.

The trail was rarely used now but lead to his favourite place. It was off the beaten path and only far away enough that the odd jogger that did go by, wouldn't see or hear him.

By the time he reached the spot, which was a clear opening amongst the brush, he had little branches in his sandals and in his thick curly hair. He didn't mind though and set out the blanket, keen to spend the afternoon gazing up at the sky.

Steven watched them go by, making up shapes in them and humming before sleep started to creep in. Rather than fight it off as he normally would, usually out of guilt, he let himself rest.

* * *

"Here in the garden... let's play a game..."

A small gem was stood in front of him, they looked so happy to see him, to be in his presence. They smiled and held his hand, he knelt down before her, "I'll show you how it's done." She looked so cute that he couldn't help but boop her little nose, "Here in the garden, stand very still..."

"This'll be so much fun!" The little gem chimed.

He felt an overwhelming feeling of wanting to play with her, but his body betray those thoughts as it stood back up and merrily made its way towards the warp pad at the top of the garden. He couldn't do anything as he continued to walk to the warp pad, only glancing back at the gem once. She looked so happy to be standing there, her hands clasped together, he could see her so desperately wanting to spring from her spot but she stood still with a gentle smile.

It was beyond his control as his eyes were forcibly shifted towards the front of the warp pad as the dream tried to continue. He felt his heart drop upon the reflection beneath his feet. _His mother's own haunting smile looking back at him._

* * *

He awoke with a start and reached out, the remains of his dream fresh and in reach. Senses of reality hit him as the world readjusted back to the sky, his heart was beating fast and sweat dripped from his head onto the blanket. Out there in space, beyond where his hand could ever reach, was a gem waiting for his mother to return.

"Somewhere... somehow..." He knew he should feel dread but he couldn't stop grinning, "I'll find you again."


	3. In the garden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Under an endless sky.

Back at his house, Steven sat anxiously for Pearl to arrive. He'd only been back for a short time and had already messaged Pearl but the wait was eating him up. As much as he wanted to dash off on his own to save the lone gem, he had no clue as to where it was. But if anyone knew of his mother's stuff, then it would be Pearl. _She made that perfectly clear._

"--And that's how you engage in human activities!" Pearl laughed as her and Bismuth warped into the house, "It's not only a benefit of making friends but also, a great way of having fun."

"Hehe yeah, I mean.. it was good fun." Bismuth nervously ran a hand over her rainbow dreadlocks, she was blushing and trying to not overly stare at Pearl.

The two had seemingly gone out for the evening, if Steven recalled, they were invited to go out roller skating but it was likely that Connie, who had arranged the evening, had brought friends from school with her. Which was part of the reason he didn't feel like going, but also because he hoped to grab Pearl beforehand and find that gem. However, he didn't get back to the house in time.

Steven tapped his phone in anticipation as the two talked about the evening. It was excruciating and by the time they stopped talking, Steven was practically vibrating on the couch, filled with excitement and lack of patience.

"Steven," Pearl said suddenly as she finally took notice of him, clasped her hands together and held back a chuckle at his expense, "Do you have something to say?"

He calmed himself and grinned before looking at Bismuth. He was about to say something but Bismuth took the glare as a clear message, made her excuses and left.

"Was... that necessary?" Pearl huffed, watching Bismuth go, "Honestly Steven you should have joined us! Connie was highly disappointed you didn't come."

He clutched his gem, "I just didn't _feel_ like going okay?" It almost hurt trying to not sound angry, "Look Pearl I really need your help with something."

Her eyebrow raised inquisitively, "I'll try to help in any way I can."

Steven nodded, "Remember how I used to have dreams that turned out to be memories?" He watched her expression, being careful to not upset her, "Well... Today I went off for a drive and pulled up somewhere... point is, I had a dream where I was in a kind of... garden?" He shrugged, "And their was a gem there who... maybe needs help?" She didn't give much away in her face, she just rested her chin in her hands and seemed to be thinking for ages. It made him slightly anxious waiting.

"I think I know who you mean but..." She hummed before an imagine sparked from her gemstone, "Is this the gem you saw?"

The gem had little pink skin, magenta-coloured eyes, that small nose and pretty heart shaped pigtails. Her gem was located in the centre of her chest and was in the shape of a heart.

"Yeah... that's the one." The imagine faded, "Can you take me to her?"

"I can but..." Pearl looked concerned, "It's been a long time since I saw that gem..." She shook her head, "No... since I saw Spinel." She took a deep breath before looking at Steven, "Understand that she might not even be there anymore... let alone willing to speak to anyone who isn't your mother."

Steven nodded, "We'll see." He gestured towards the warp pad.

"Very well." Pearl took the hint and put on a smile, "I'll tell you about her on the way."

* * *

It looked nothing like in his dream. As it turned out, the garden sat on a large floating rock that over the six thousand years, began to fall apart. The garden area itself was protected by a large glass, inside was overgrown and withering away. Steven presumed it was due to the lack of anyone taking care of the wildlife. Most of the pillars had also began to crumble away, with some completely falling apart. It was dangerous and felt so isolating.

"Oh my, what an absolute mess!" Pearl gasped, "We should just leave this place, it makes me uncomfortable being here."

Steven had already wandered into the garden as Pearl freaked out on the warp pad. He expected to maybe leave but she just called after him, to which he ignored, and soon followed him further in.

Though he stopped suddenly as his sandal got snagged in a pile of grass. It was squashed and torn in places, as though someone had to drag themselves out of it. He stood in the spot and looked back at the warp pad.

"This is where she stood... isn't it?" Steven clutched his fist as Pearl looked away, "Typical mom right?" He bitterly laughed.

"I'm sure she didn't _mean_ to leave her here..." Pearl rubbed her eye exasperatedly, "Besides I am sure that Spinel has probably gone to another planet by now, she would have gotten bored waiting here, she was just like your mother." Pearl laughed, lost in a day-dream of his mother's youth and antics.

He didn't find it funny but he smiled anyway, best going along with it, lest she question what he's thinking. Disappointed he and Pearl walked back to the warp pad.

* * *

_Connie: Hey Steven, I just wanted to make sure you're okay? I wanted to see you tonight._

Laying in bed, restless, Steven opened his missed messages from Connie.

_Steven: Sorry, I'm fine! We can maybe meet up tomorrow instead?_

He didn't really expect a reply but her account became 'active.'

_Connie: Well that's why I wanted to see you silly! Me and some of my friends are going to Empire City early tomorrow._   
_Actually, more accurately, we're setting off in a few hours._   
_You could still join us if you want? :)_

_Steven: I'm not sure... I don't really know your friends so... Wouldn't it be awkward?_

It took a little while for Connie to respond, Steven watched as the little bubble kept popping up then stopping. He wasn't sure how she was going to respond.

_Connie: Probably, but only until you opened up and talked to them. Don't you remember when we were kids? How awkward out first meeting was?_

He cringed upon remembering how he tried to act cool, riding his bike out on sand before clumsily falling over.

_Connie: You've been distancing yourself a lot... take a chance and come with us! :D_   
_It's gonna be tons of fun._

He wanted to go, he really did but the thought of 'distancing himself' brought back thoughts of the Spinel his mother had left behind. He should probably try and find her, she might be in need of a friend herself?

_Steven: I thought about it but... I can't afford it and with Little Homeworld still new, there are some hiccups I should help fix. Have fun for me though! :)_

He switched his phone off, unwilling to see her response and probable persuasion to get him to come. She had a good heart, he knew, but he couldn't get Spinel out of his head. Couldn't forget her sweet, innocent eyes that cried out for love.

Closing his eyes and curling up he tried to come up with a plan on how to find her, _"Maybe if I broadcast on Homeworld, some gem out there will know where she is?" ' **What will I do when I find her?'** "I'll try to make friends with her and help with the trauma my mom caused." **'What if she hates me?'** "...It wouldn't be the first time..."_

* * *

_His dream was peaceful and very pink. He blinked open his eyes and realised that he was laid in a field where little pink and white flowers bloomed in the swaying grass, it was almost like when Lion would sleep on him, but this world had air and brought him comfort. He stayed like that for a while before a familiar sound of crashing waves aroused him from where he lay._

_It took no effort to stand as he listened closely for the sound. Following it down a hill, to his surprise there were stairs that would then lead towards a beautiful blue hue sea. He smiled and turned towards the top of the stairs when a force pulled him back, he watched in disbelief as that world disappeared before his eyes and the front door was in his face._

A concerned Amethyst had wrapped her whip around his torso, "Thank god you finally woke up!" She sighed and let the whip disappear, "Dude, I was shouting at you for ages!"

Steven shook his head and turned back to Amethyst, whom looked angry but he could see she was worried too.

"Sorry... but what happened?" Steven rubbed his head before realising that actually he wasn't in his room anymore.

"You were sleepwalking duh." Amethyst rolled her eyes, "Don't make this a habit or else imma have to tie you down!" She laughed, "And that never works in the cartoons."

He laughed back but his head hurt and he was so very confused. Unsure if he was even properly sleeping or whether he had some control over it. It was too much to process. He hadn't noticed Amethyst glaring at him.

"You... okay?" She knelt down and tilted her head, "I was only joking about tying you up..."

_He was worrying her._

"Don't worry! I'm fine, it just surprised me is all." He smiled and stood up, "I'll just go back to bed for a bit," He took a few steps upstairs, "Seriously, don't worry! I'm sure it won't happen again." He waved before walking off.

Amethyst wasn't convinced and sat on the couch, just to be sure it didn't happen again. She took a few selfies, sending them off to Pearl, to her annoyance she realised Steven was online.

"Fine. Guess I'll just go then." She huffed, grumbling to herself as she went into her room, "Get to sleep!" She yelled as her door closed.


	4. Isn't this cruel?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update! I got addicted to animal crossing... ^^'  
> -  
> As always, I very much appreciate any feedback! :)

  
Amethyst was initially hesitant on bring up the 'sleep walking' incident. Especially since Steven was adamant that he'd get it 'under control' but an agonising three days later and both her and Steven were utterly exhausted. Amethyst had long given up on resting in her room, as it seemed the moment he'd close his eyes, he'd be straight up and out the door.

They tried most everything to keep him in bed; heavy duty tape, his bubble, his tv and even Lion. But no matter what, he'd get up and get to the front door, no matter what was in the way. They even tried figuring out what the dreams meant but it was pointless as Steven struggled to remember what even happened in them.

Now here they were, sat across each other with Steven on the couch with bags under his eyes and knee constantly fidgeting, he was smiling awkwardly as Amethyst stared him out. Every blink made her anxious, every yawn and she'd yell, if he dared fall asleep he'd get the whip to his head.

Needless to say, Amethyst's patience had ended two days ago. "Dude, we have got to get Garnet and Pearl's help!" Amethyst slammed her arm on the table, jerking Steven's head to slip from his hand.

But Steven shook his head, absolutely horrified at the idea of telling anyone of what was happening, "It won't happen again I swear." Steven tried to grin, though sheepishly but Amethyst rolled her eyes.

"No. Seriously this isn't right! I'm going to get them both right now, whether you want their help or not." She stomped dramatically towards the warp pad, "Stay here! I'll be right back!"

Steven sighed and let his tense shoulders slack. Heading back upstairs to his room, he threw himself onto his bed and half-heartedly reached for his phone, which was under his pillow. Scanning for any hotels nearby that were cheap.

As the wifi booted up on his phone, a few pop ups on his timeline caught his attention. There were a few pictures of Peridot and Lapis at the farm tending the new patch of pumpkins, there some of Pearl and Bismuth's trip to the roller-skating rink and of course, plenty of pictures of Connie with her new friends as they took selfies at the many shop they went into and the drinks they had... and food... and it seems they went on a Ferris wheel attraction. _Ugh..._

He quickly shut down that app and tossed the phone, forgetting the initial purpose of booting it up to begin with. He lay on his back with his arm over his eyes, letting the pink fabric soak up the jealous tears.

_"So stupid, so stupid!"_ He muttered to himself, he clenched his fists up and with his other hand, hit the pillow next to his head. He hated this feeling of jealousy, this feeling of abandonment, the feeling of longing and desire to be by her side. And yet he had to laugh, even if he didn't have the dream about the other gem, Spinel, he wasn't sure if he would've gone with Connie.

But she should know him and how anxious he is around her other friends. That's right, he'd heard so many stories but he doesn't like how they end. Why couldn't it just go back to when it was her and him spending time together? "I could never be, I could never be ready for this..." Steven sighed and turned to his side, huddling close to himself, "things start and things end" He didn't rub away the tears as they fell down his cheek, inadvertently soaking his pillow, "and isn't it lovely in theory but..." his voice cracked as he whispered the song, "I could never be... I could never be... ready..." He yawned, "for this..."

_Gee it would be nice for another friend._

A sweetly hummed song graced his ears. Once again he found himself in this peaceful world. Night after night it became a comforting place to be, from the pastel pinks, blues and yellows. No feelings other than peace could be felt here, it was a whole other place, so familiar and yet unknown.

He was stood amongst many flowers in a field, his arms were stretched out. His body felt light, much like when he visits the moon base, but he was still connected to the ground. He glanced around him, the sweet song catching his attention once more, it pulled him towards the source.

"La la la la, la la la~ Mm hm mm, mm hm... da da da da, da da da~"

Steven could see beyond the grassy fields and looked at the ocean. It had such pretty hues of blue and green with a touch of pink sprinkled on top as the light shined beautifully on the surface. What he had never seen before was the small figure that was standing on the edge of the sand, its legs covered by the ocean.

It seemed that its eyes were closed as it focused on the song and its hands rested over its heart, it sung louder and held out its arm just for him. He never felt a feeling this strong before, a small part of him wanted to resist it, hesitant of the potential danger but its sweet humming reached his ears and his eyes softened, glazing over like honey, a silly smile rested on his face.

"A dream is a wish your heart makes~" He sang along with its humming as he made his way towards it, he carefully took the steps towards the beach but with each and every step, it seemed harder, so he forced his way using the brute strength of his gem to force his way towards it. His singing was forced admittedly as he strained to get towards her.

The moment he felt a slack in the force pulling him, he leapt down towards it. He clutched his head as something buzzed close to his ears, he smacked whatever it was and shook his head.

Here he was, stood in front of the mysterious figure. It's form was watery but an undeniably light pink. He couldn't properly identify it's form as the water splashed so much and a nagging noise started to drown out the song. His breathing quickened as the peaceful, colourful world around him started to fade.

"Who are you?" He tried to speak but his mouth felt like it was full of water. Still he watched the figure closely as the dream was ending.

It's mouth was moving, it was trying to say something to him. But even as he tried to make out the words with its watery lips, it was difficult to read as the water and occasional sputtering would cut it off. It evidently seemed to be on repeat as it's arms kept flailing, then outstretching, then falling before flailing again.

"I can't understand..." he mumbled to himself, the colour was fading fast but he urged the dream to not end. He took a final step out towards it, startling it.

But that was when he noticed its hair, there was no colour to the figure now apart from the blue from the ocean, but he could see heart-shaped pigtails that looked loose from lack of upkeep. He had to keep blinking as the splashing would get in his eyes, despite that, he could also see a heart on her chest.

"You're who I've been looking for!" He laughed and smiled and tried to reach her. The figure stopped and smiled, nodding her head, she reached back towards him. _Her hero._ "You're Spi---"

**_"-Even!"_ **

A horrific static noise burned his ears as that world abruptly ended. Garnet had to yell as loud as she could to finally snap him from the trance, she, Amethyst and Pearl sighed with relief as he finally stopped in his tracks.

To Steven's utter confusion, he found himself standing at the edge of the water with his arm reaching out to nothing. He had to blink multiple times, he retracted his arms to tug at his curly hair. _"It's calling to me?"_ He muttered.

Amethyst was stood near him as she had to dive on him to pull him back from the water, only to get smacked by him. _She was definitely going to smack him back later._ But for now she watched as Pearl wrapped a blanket around her precious baby.

"I told you something was wrong..." She grumbled to herself as her teammates finally saw the problem for themselves. Garnet patted her shoulder as a silent apology and nodded before walking towards Steven, making sure he was fully awake.

"Steven..." She looked at him, his eyes were looking through her and into the ocean as though something would be standing behind her. But her future vision never foresaw anything being there. She sighed and scooped him up. "We need to talk."


	5. Fluttery Meep-morps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everybody needs a friend and I got you, you an you~

  
Garnet sat down on the couch with Steven on her lap, she had hold of him just like when he was a baby. With one of her hands, she fluffed his hair and hushed him as he muttered away to himself. He was still waking up out of the intense dream, so Garnet rocked slightly back and forth in the hopes to comfort him and to ground him back to reality. _Isn't that lovely?_

Sapphire didn't want this outcome but the chances of it actually happening were so low, she couldn't have foreseen it in time. Garnet's inner Ruby tried to comfort the other as it wasn't there fault. It wasn't anyone's other than the being that was torturing Steven like this.

She was lost in thought until Steven called out to her, "Garnet? I'm okay now..." She looked down at him and nodded, she unwrapped the blanket and casually placed him down next to her. Whilst he was cooling off she looked down at her arms, already missing his warmth. Time was always escaping Sapphire, but she could still picture the little baby boy with his tiny hands, reaching up to both her and Ruby with such love in his eyes.

Amethyst watched over them both as the silent cuddling made her slightly uneasy about it all. Garnet was prone to being absorbed in the past or future, often failing to realise where she was now. Especially with Steven, he'd cloud her judgement sometimes.

As for Pearl, of whom was distracting herself by making Steven a cup of coffee. Pearl has changed a lot and taken a step back when it comes to Steven and maybe Amethyst thinks she should be more involved now. But no one really listens to silly naïve Amethyst. _Isn't that cruel?_

"What happened?" Steven was sitting forward, his head was resting in his hands and frankly, he looked embarrassed.

Amethyst looked at Garnet and Pearl, all were unsure on how to discuss this. Amethyst huffed and stepped forward, "Look I'm not gonna sugar-coat this like Pearl would." She dodged the slight jab Pearl was going to give her, watching as Pearl gave Steven the drink, "The sleep walking is getting worse. You were a few steps from walking into the ocean tonight! And- and I couldn't pull you back! I tried but you smacked me." She blew the hair from her face which showed the little bruise on her other cheek, "You were singing and leaping, then talking. It was just bizarre dude."

"What Amethyst is trying to say..." Garnet put a hand on his knee, "Something or someone is manipulating you." She tapped at her visor which poofed away, "Sapphire is trying to see who or what it is but... with so many possible... _futures_... it's difficult to narrow down which one it is."

_He was making them worry again._

"Guys really you don't have to worry! Maybe I can stay in mom's room? If I ask for the ocean to be there then maybe I won't go to the real one?"

Pearl sighed at the mention of his mom and how she'd love to be able to visit the room but a forgotten promise would be kept. So she opted to hum at Steven's idea but ultimately it was Garnet who would be the better gem to decide if that would work.

They all looked at Garnet, who had snuck her visor back on as Sapphire focused on the previous task. Amethyst rolled her eyes and leaned back against the kitchen counter, "I don't think that'll work." Steven put the coffee down on the table and sighed, she was probably right. _Nothing was ever that easy._

Pearl clasped her hands together which startled everyone, "I think we should let Garnet think for a while. We all have a busy day today, so I propose we meet again here tonight with a new plan of action!" She stood with an almost smug look on her and took a hold of Amethyst's arm, leading her to the warp pad ignoring her protests. "I'm taking Amethyst with me, Steven make sure you get home early tonight."

Steven stood but Garnet grabbed his jeans, stopping him from following. He waited for Pearl and Amethyst to leave before glancing down at Garnet. "Steven." Her voice which was normally so subdue was clear in the now empty room.

He looked at her, "Yes Garnet?" She stood and kissed his forehead before he'd leave, "Be careful today." Her vision was mainly focused on finding the potential culprit so she granted him the one for today. Steven looked blank at the vision played in his mind. He could see the light of the warp pad, a flock of colour and a familiar face. Garnet made her way to her room to meditate, leaving Steven to leave when ready.

* * *

It was around noon when Steven felt ready to go out for the day and little Homeworld was bustling with gems. Steven took a deep breath and tried to act casual as he strolled towards the garden centre. He could hear hushed whispers about him being there and how great he is, or how uncomfortable he makes others feel. But he shook his head, grinned and focused on making his way to Peridot.

If there is one gem that knows her tech, it was Peridot. Along the way as he looses steam from fast walking for so long, he huffs and slows his pace, most gems had seemingly gone off to class now as the closer he got to Peridot, the less gems were around. _It's grown so much without him._

He stopped and looked back at little Homeworld, he hadn't realised just how much had changed without him here to help. It was bittersweet. Keeping his head down, he sulked his way towards Peridot's garden centre. On the one hand it was fantastic to see it's growth and how more gems are feeling comfortable here as they adapt and build on his foundations but on the other, he at least would've liked to have helped build some of these new buildings or something?

Before he could dwell anymore on it, a flock of butterflies burst from the doorway of Peridot's centre, they all took off in different directions. Steven smiled and renowned energy ran to the doorway. Peridot was stood in the middle of the aisle where most all the cocoons were empty with only a few butterflies left. He felt light as the big smile of Peridot's face melted his negative feelings from before. He waved to get her attention, to which Peridot practically ran towards him.

"Steevvveen!" She yelled and grabbed his arms, swinging them around with her boundless energy, "I did it! Lapis is going to love them!"

Steven smiled sweetly, after Pumpkin had passed away both Peridot and Lapis missed her terribly. To cope with the grief they began to nurture different types of crops and discover and learn about smaller life on Earth, from beetles to worms to now seemingly, butterflies. Steven was proud of what the two had achieved and discovered about his home planet.

After Peridot spoke to Lapis briefly via phone about the success of the butterflies, she took Steven into a back room of sorts, where Peridot would make journals and broadcast her new findings to other gems on other planets. She had quite the following now, even the diamonds were known to listen to her findings every now and then. Presumably in the hopes they'd learn more on what and why Pink loved this planet. It would be incredibly sweet if they had maybe done this to begin with.

The room wasn't very big as it consisted of a couch, rug, a little radio desk and all of Peridot's alien tech as well as different types of cactus and hanging plants. It was cosy admittedly and the tune from the radio had a sweet tune to it, he wanted to listen to it more but Peridot re-entered the room with snacks and beverages.

She handed Steven a juice drink and sat on her swirly chair. "Soo..." Peridot swung around in her seat in a dramatic way, "What can I help ya with?"

Steven chuckled a little and took a small sip, "I'm looking for a gem..." he started, "I think she used to be my mom's? Which I mean y'know... um, she won't be now but... but anyway!" _This was difficult._ "She's only little and mainly pink." _What was her name?_

Quick thinking Peridot hummed and opened a search engine, "I'm afraid most gems are.. small and a lot of your mom's gems were pink so... it'd help if you knew what kind of gem specifically?"

He had to really think for a minute, the song was admittedly clouding his thoughts for a moment, "She had a heart shaped gem... um.... oh! A Spinel?" He was almost mad that he couldn't even remember her name but he figured that maybe the lack of sleep and stress had taken a slight toll on him. _Not that he'd ever say so._

Peridot gave Steven a look, "A Spinel? That won't be too difficult, she should be based on a singular planet which was re-purposed for Pink to play on. You can probably reach it from a warp pad."

Relieved that the look wasn't about him, Steven shook his head and sighed, "I tried that already, 'cause Pearl knew her but she wasn't there. I'm hoping she maybe went to another planet?"

Peridot had a bad feeling but she looked up any information on the Spinel. As she was typing away Steven looked at the many little screens that popped up and sipped at the juice. She was quiet for a while and Steven felt exhaustion picking at him again and every time his eyes would start to close he had to shake his head or get up and stretch.

"Huh?" Peridot finally mumbled, her chin was resting on her hand as she typed away at something before all the little screens disappeared, fusing into one big one. Steven looked at the screen curious as the familiar broadcast played.

_"This is Peridot ~~trans~~ mitting on all freq ~~uen~~ cies from abandoned ~~crystal~~ sys ~~tem colony ~~planet Earth, to ~~Yellow D~~ iamond. My ~~mission has been ~~compromised, m ~~y~~ escort and informant are ~~gone and I~~ am now stranded! Plea ~~se~~ send help!"_

It was almost like watching a repeating vhs video as the screen was glitchy and staticky. Steven had to cover his ears as some parts were loud and then dull. Peridot tried her best to clean it up but eventually swiped it aside and like a camera, it flipped. _Steven's heart dropped._

He got up immediately and stood behind Peridot. The video was very quick and it took Peridot a few tries to get a clean shot of what they both saw. As the old jumbled footage was mostly corrupted, she frustratingly had to slow down the time dramatically to get a glimpse at the gem on the other side. 

A little pink gem is looking directly at the video, she was mid-gasping and her eyes looked so sore and her hair was messy but still in the shape of heart buns. Her outfit was dusty and torn, but most notably was the heart shaped gemstone on her chest. It should've been glimmering with purity but it seemed to be wavering.

"There's your Spinel." Peridot broke the stunned silence and pushed away slightly from the keyboard to get a better view of the image, "Seems she has sustained slight damage over the years as her appearance is less than appealing."

_Like a forgotten toy._

"However, I can use this image and send it to all former colonies. I theorise that after seeing my broadcast which had seemingly only made it to this particular planet, if what you said before is true and she is no longer there, then it is likely that she has panicked and tried to leave? Perhaps to find the source of this message? I can't be certain that all the details were fully available to her so...so..?"

She stopped talking as Steven was quiet, she naturally glanced at Steven expecting him to maybe be curious about it, but to her surprise he was leaning over her and looking directly at the Spinel, she hadn't seen that look before... She turned back towards the screen, "Don't worry Steven, I'll make sure to ask everyone if they've seen her so..." She looks up and smiles, "You can head off, i'll message ya when I hear anything."

It takes Steven a moment to pull back, he blinks a lot before taking steps back to give Peridot back her space. She can't read his thoughts but he seemed confused and like he wanted to ask more on the gem, to which Peridot would've tried but he sighs suddenly and puts on a smile. "Okay." He simply says before walking back towards the door, his hand rests on the doorway as he turns back, "Peridot?"

She perks up a little, "Yes Steven?"

He seemed shy as his finger scratched at the wood, "I liked that song on the radio, can you um, maybe send me who sings it later?" He smiles brightly and Peridot naturally nods.

The sun was setting when Peridot finishes her message to the vast gems across the galaxy, she was certain she'd find some information on this Spinel that Steven seemed oddly interested in. Not that she needed to know why but a part of her was slightly concerned for her dear friend. He'd helped her so much so she put her worries aside and wanted to return the favours. With a push of a key and the picture of the gem is sent off along with a description with the little information she could find about Spinel. Peridot sighs, gets up and stretches. As she powers the tech down for the evening she sees the juice drink in the bin, she's about to leave the room when the radio catches her eye. Remembering what Steven said earlier, she took a glance down at the plug socket, to add uneasiness to her gem, she could see that it was definitely unplugged.


	6. We need to talk

"Let go of me!" Amethyst snatched her arm out of Pearl's grip.

Amethyst looked around her and realised that Pearl had brought them to the strawberry field, she immediately felt uncomfortable being here. How many of her sisters had perished here? How many of Pink's army fought a pointless fight? But Pearl couldn't see past that, even now, she saw this as a tremendous moment in history where Pink fought for her love. Even if it was against herself, in reality it was a brave defiance against the diamonds.

"Amethyst?" Pearl started, she reached out for her hand but Amethyst pulled away. Pearl hugged her other arm awkwardly, "I know you aren't happy with me..."

"Yeah that's an understatement. We can't just leave Steven alone!" Amethyst stomped her foot on the floor which then disturbed the small flowers. She pushed her hair out of her eyes and pouted. Pearl noticed tiny petals rise up in front of them before being carried by a breeze, "He needs us!"

Pearl flinched at her harsh tone and sighed, "I can explain... will you listen?"

Amethyst huffed and crossed her arms, "Yeah. Go ahead."

Pearl smiled, "We just need to go somewhere private first." and indicated for Amethyst to follow her as she walked towards the floating rocks, she needed to calm her down before attempting to explain anything. Previous experience taught Pearl to lure gems away from any warp pads first.

She took a few cautious steps as she wasn't certain Amethyst actually would follow but a quick glance back and she heard Amethyst groan and could see her walking towards her, she sighed quietly with relief as she took Amethyst to a floating rock that overlooked the valley. 

Along the way they both glanced around at the huge swords, and other relics from the past. Pearl recalled fondly the times she saved Rose from being poofed or _worse_. It may have left some damage on her form but she knew she'd do it again for her.

Amethyst followed closely behind as they scaled up the floating rocks. As she walked she felt her foot slip slightly in the dirt, she glanced down and saw the paw prints ingrained in the dirt.

It brought her back to the day when Pearl threw a fit after learning that Rose kept secrets from her too and how Steven had to go talk to her about it. Amethyst was approached by Garnet that evening and advised to not ask what had happened whilst those two were alone. It wasn't easy as Steven came back tired and a little pale from being out with no jacket on and Pearl looked equally as exhausted not that Amethyst could even properly apologise as she took herself off to her room.

So now, being here again, she wondered even more as to what happened that night. Even before that had happened, she'd never ventured too far here, mainly out of respect for the fallen gems but now the constant feeling of unease after learning the truth about Rose and Pink.

Amethyst clenched her fist, she wasn't around during the war but many of her own were and they fought for nothing. _She hated this place._

Pearl looked behind her as she elegantly landed on the island and saw Amethyst standing at the bottom, "Just up here." Pearl hollered and waved.

She was stood on the highest little island and did a little twirl as she waited for Amethyst to catch up. She was tempted to bring out the holo-Rose as she waited. Say what they will about her, they didn't know her and just how beautiful she was in that moment where she decided once and for all to fight for her own freedom and those sweet words that made her heart swoon even more, _"My Pearl, you're wonderful..."_ she whispered, holding her hand out for the Rose that wasn't there.

"Pearl..." Amethyst huffed from the high climb, granted they didn't have lungs or other human organs, but that didn't mean they couldn't get tired, "What are you doing?" She was trying to be serious and Pearl was up here dancing and talking to herself? Amethyst couldn't stop laughing as Pearl sputtered and laughed awkwardly before twirling back round to Amethyst, trying to not appear embarrassed.

But the silly grin on her face made it clear that she'd been caught in the midst of a daydream, "Nothing!" she clasped her hands, "Here, lets sit and talk!"

Once settled, the two were sat near the edge with Pearl dangling her legs over and Amethyst hugging hers tightly. She wanted to go home and not think for a while but it wasn't like when Steven was younger and these things tended to resolve themselves. Now she had to take more responsibility for him and herself, lest something serious actually happen to him. _She told him she'd be there for him._

"So..." Pearl stared ahead, "I wanna start by saying that I understand your concern with Steven, but I also think that maybe we shouldn't be as worried..." Immediately she could feel a protest, she raised her hand to silence Amethyst, "This isn't the first time he's had these dreams, granted we haven't seen him sleepwalk before.. but we have to let these things happen. Steven... isn't a child anymore..." She held her hands together tightly at that thought.

"I feel that Garnet would have said if this was going to be dangerous. Sapphire has never neglected to mention if something with high probability was going to happen. Of course you weren't there but for example, on the battle field when everything was chaos, we had Garnet there who kept as many of us safe with her strategies. If not for her we may not be here now."

Amethyst bit her tongue at Pearl making her feel guilty for not being there for her family. Not that she could help it back then, but now as she rubbed her still sore cheek she was reminded of the family that needed her now, "But we can't-" She started.

"-But we can Amethyst." Pearl said bitterly, "You're not listening! Garnet has been there for all of us, her visions have never been wrong before. We need to trust her to find a solution, _if_ , we even need one."

Amethyst was this close to rolling off this awkward conversation hill and into the strawberry field bellow but Pearl caught her off guard as she chuckled, "It must be ironic? I've always worried over him, maybe too much at times but... as much as I'd love for him to be a baby again, where we all looked after him and cared for him. He is a young man now... we have to let these things happen."

"But Pearl you only saw what happened tonight! and it's only going to get worse!" _She just knows it._

But those eyes that pierce back at Amethyst make her shiver, "Will it? I believe once Steven has 'finished' the dream, then all will go back to normal." She put her hand on Amethyst's, "Trust me okay?"

* * *

After seeing Peridot, Steven walked over to the Wash to see his dad. It'd been a while and he needed a distraction from everything, who better to chill and sing silly songs with then dad? ...Connie?

But she was busy and dad wasn't so he stayed there for the majority of the day. As the sun was setting when he received a message from Peridot, it was a condensed version of the message she'd sent to all gems across the galaxy. It brought relief and gave him the slightest hope that tonight he'd finally get some proper rest.

Without his car he thought about taking the nearest warp pad back home or even a lift from his dad but it wasn't as if he was in any hurry back to the house. So he opted to walk back instead, even if Garnet had advised him not to, today had been drama free so, what harm could it possibly do to walk back?

"I could think about flowers... I could think about cake... I could think of all the wonderful memories we made." Steven hummed and sung quietly as he walked, "There's an awful lot of awful things I could be thinking of..." he glanced at the ocean in the distance, "But for just one day I only want to think about..." He took a few fast steps and a leap, "looovveee~"

As he descended down towards the sandy beach in front of the big donut, it felt as though he had stepped through a portal as pink hues glazed over everything. When he felt his shoes land on the sand he saw the water stir ahead. Without any control he reached out towards it and took steps towards it.

But this wasn't like the dreams where he felt safe, fear gripped him as he couldn't control himself. With every step closer to the water, the more he desperately fought back. He tried summoning his shield, bubble, and even Lion but any attempt would result in a few sparkles.

Finally he reached the edge of the water again, tears were falling heavily down his cheeks and into the water bellow. The water swirled slightly and a pink light shined brightly, he blinked and just a short distance away was the figure he'd become familiar with.

The figure was still watery and see-through in appearance with only a few features being easy to recognise. The hair was still messy and the heart shaped gem on it's chest was upside down. His body was shaking as it held it's arms out ready to embrace him with a loving smile. _This isn't a game anymore._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this clears up a little as to why the gems seem off?  
> -I'll answer any questions ya have about the story and characters this time as i'm off on holiday for a week ^.^'  
> \--As always though I truly do appreciate any comments! <3


	7. What can he do for you?

Steven jolted upright, his hand clutched his gemstone tightly, his breath hitched and uneven. His eyes darted around and sweat dripped from his head onto the covers, the world around him was pink, it was all he could see. _Like when he's in a bubble, **too pink,** **too much pink.**_

He tried to focus on something else like the cool breeze that blew onto his face and the moon that shined at the foot of the mattress. He took deep breaths, took a moment to calm himself and recognised that in fact, he was in his dad's van. _He could hear music._

He shuffled out of the bed and looked around. To the right he saw his dad overlooking Beach City and the temple, guitar in hand, he glanced to his right before taking a deep breath. He strummed the strings lightly, "Rose..." He started, Steven unknowingly clutched his gem a little harder, "Do you want to hear a song? I like this one a lot..." this time he strummed the guitar into a familiar song.

_ 'They... are the crystal gems. _

  
_ They've always saved the day, and even though I can't... they've always found a way. _

  
_ That's why the people in Beach City.. believe in... _

  
_ Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl and, our Steven.' _

Steven watched as his dad sang his song so confidently out towards the sea. He was in his element as he swayed a little on the stump, his foot tapped against the grass and his not so long hair swayed in the breeze. He watched his dad for a while, naturally the more he sang, the more Steven felt comfortable enough to sit at the edge of the van.

When he was a kid, he would've hopped out with his ukulele and joined him but his dad wasn't singing to no one, or Steven. He was singing his heart to Rose and Steven wanted to hear his dad sing strongly for her. Or maybe if what Pearl thinks is right... then maybe his mom wanted to hear this? Regardless he stayed until his dad had finished, to which he clapped for him.

Amusingly it seemed he caught him off guard as Greg's hair stood on end and not so swiftly did he spin to see Rose-- Steven sat at the edge of his van, clapping and smiling so sweetly. He smiled back and took a bow.

"Did I wake you up Stu-ball?" Greg asked after sitting back on the stump, the guitar caringly placed beside him.

"Nah, I uh had a weird dream is all. Nothing unusual anymore though." Steven laughed, his hand brushing through his hair.

"Is that so?" Greg hummed, "I put the radio on this afternoon and just like when you were little, a bit of calming music and you fall asleep." Greg laughed at the memory before sighing and taking a look at his grown boy, "I'm... really proud of you."

Steven let his hands drop and blinked back a tear, his dad had always been supportive and often let Steven know how much he cared for him, but having seen his father less and less this year unless it was related to gem parties or weddings, it made his gem flutter at hearing that and he wiped his eye despite the tear not being there, "Thanks dad that-"

"I was proud of your mother too... she was amazing and kind, just like you." He said so earnestly, "And i'm sure your mother would be proud too..."

But of course his mother had to be mentioned too. "Yeah... maybe."

"Are you feeling alright? Maybe I should take you home?" Greg worriedly watched him for an answer.

"I'm fine dad! Honest!" He smiled the brightest smile he could muster, "But yeah... I think I should go home..." He rubbed the back of his head again, "The gems might be worried."

Satisfied with his answer though he could see he struck a chord somewhere, he nodded. He packed up his guitar and the two set off back to the temple.

"You wrote that song when you were only small." Greg smiled fondly, "I was running out of things to teach you back then and the gems were busy building your home so... you wanted to write a song just for them. As a way of saying 'thank you for working hard'." He chuckled, "It really inspired them. No, inspired us all."

Always up on a pedestal. Always high and mighty and above everyone else. Always seen as a leader, seen as super caring and kind. Everyone saw him as things he never saw in himself. _"..Ste-"_ Although he once found a purpose in helping others, no one thought to maybe help him.

It was at the stage where he could no longer accept help or sympathy from the gems or humans. He was too high and out of reach, he couldn't bring himself to reach back for those hands. In the bitter fear that they'd see him lower than themselves. _"-..Ste..e-"_ But in those dreams, the nice comforting dreams, he felt he could jump from that pedestal and not care where he landed. For the arms he'd fall into would keep him level with them. They'd not judge him, just accept him. But the last dream made him shudder, to actually take that leap into those arms was scary especially because he didn't feel any control.

"Steven?" Greg had his hand ready to go over his day-dreaming son's eyes but they snapped towards him, "You get lost there bud?"

"Yeah.. sorry dad." Steven ran his hand through his hair but yelped a little when it got caught in a tangle.

"Just like your mom." Greg said with innocent implications, "Say, how are things with Connie?"

Steven noticed the van was parked outside the house and decided to not look at the sea next to him, opting to turn his back to it, "Great. Well I mean I miss her a lot but... I also understand she's busy with school an' stuff."

"Yeah it's great she's doing so well." Greg sat back, "I can still buy the finest courses online, if you're interested?"

"I'd rather take a trip... could do with a vacation. Maybe go somewhere new?" Steven hummed.

"We can definitely arrange something Stu-ball." Greg yawned and Steven smiled softly.

With a wave Steven watched his dad's van bumble away until the lights from the back were gone before looking at his house. He didn't feel much like sleeping now, didn't want to worry Amethyst or Garnet about what he'd do next tonight. But a chill sent down his jacket reminded him that it'd at least be warm inside his home so reluctantly he headed towards the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be uploaded tomorrow people! :D  
> 10/09/20


	8. Not unexpected

With every step Steven could overhear the gems in the house. They were arguing, to which Steven slapped a hand over his eye and down his cheek. _'For just once could they get along?'_ He retracted his steps and sat on the lower few steps, immediately he pulled out his phone and scrolled through the messages.

No surprise that there were none from Connie... but plenty of photo's of her time at school. His arm rested on his knee as he continued to look at her new adventures. _He shook his head to try and block out the creeping ringing noise._

To his utter most disappointment was the no message from Peridot. He'd hoped maybe someone would've seen Spinel somewhat recently or had some information on her. He groaned, "She feels so close..." Steven reached out towards the stars above, his head gently resting on the stairs above, "But beyond my reach... I wanna see her smile and hear the sound of her laughter..." Steven sighed, "That's all I'm after." Is what he told himself, after taking another glance at Connie on his phone. "I'll always be happy to listen, happy to stay with her... I wouldn't want her to drift away." _He hated to admit it but... he felt so alone._

The ocean waves sounded peaceful as they crashed against the sand. He dared to peak at it and sighed as no weird figure tried to rise from the water. He listened closely at the calm sea and dared to let his eyes rest, for just a moment Steven felt okay at not moving and not worrying about sleeping.

He wanted to stay longer as a warm feeling embraced his body once more, unlike his dream earlier, he felt that comforting his weary heart. But a cold and bitter chill up went up his back reminding him to head inside his home. Begrudgingly did he trot back upstairs, the gems were arguing still but not as loudly. He knew it was probably about him, they worry so much about him, it's only natural that they disagree on things.

He took a final glance back at the sea unsure if he wanted something to be there or not. It seemed mutual as the waves seemed to be drawing back slower, that rhythm of back and forth catching his eyes longer than he'd realised.

"Are you **_serious_**?!" Amethyst yelled angrily from inside.

Steven shook his head and held up his hands in defence as he walked in, "Guys please I'm fine can we all just-"

"- _Ugh_ you win **_again_**." Amethyst groaned tossing up her cards in the air before huffing and crossing her arms.

"Oh Steven! We're playing cards!" Pearl said delightfully as she gracefully placed her winning hand on the counter.

"Go fish." Garnet chipped in but her cards weren't matching the same as Pearl's or Amethyst's.

"Garnet we aren't playing that today...?" Amethyst looked over at Garnet who seemed to look down at her cards, upon noticing her mistake she pressed on her visor.

"My apologies... I'm still adjusting to this timeline." She said nonchalantly.

After an awkward _'Right...'_ from Amethyst, Steven found himself left stood there with his hands tucked into his pockets.

He felt a little uncomfortable as he watched the gems, Amethyst and Pearl, argue and talk amongst themselves about the whole game and its rules. Amethyst was sat on the counter and both Pearl and Garnet were resting against it. Though all three had enough distance where they could play the game. It seems everyone has fun without him.

His hand clutched tightly in one pocket, "Can I play?" Steven chimed but Amethyst had already started storming off to her room with Pearl gathering up the strewn cards.

"Another time Steven." Pearl took a glance at him and smiled sympathetically. The idea of playing this game was to create a comfortable atmosphere for when he'd return but, evidently they all got too into the game. But Steven was a grown boy now and surely understood that there would be another time.

"That's alright..." Steven sighed and sat on the couch, resisting the urge to scroll through his phone again, "I'm not really in the mood for games."

"Is that so?" Pearl hummed as she neatly packed away the few remaining cards, she made a little 'oh' noise when her phones ringtone went off. She glanced at Steven before answering, _"Yes, he's here."_ she whispered quietly before rambling off as though to cover who she was speaking with. Steven watched her suspiciously and sure enough, once Pearl had left the room his phone went off.

His ringtone that he hadn't changed in so long played just for Connie. The song that played when he questioned if she should be brought into his chaotic life. He threw his head back against the couch and went to pick up his phone and answer it, his baggy tired eyes straining to see the image.

It's only as he opened them fully did he realise he was no longer in the warm temple, but floating gently down from the clouds. The moon staring at him from the distance. He gasped and looked down to the light pink hues of the beach below, the familiar comforting song played once more in his ears but it was serene and reassuring. His eyes wanted to close and let it's sweet song play but a big part knew this needed to be addressed. He listened closely and let himself fall without restraint.

_"That's right I heard your story over and over again... Gee I only wanted to have a friend..."_

The voice was so sweet and hurt. It sang so clearly for him, it wanted him to listen to their song for so long. He could hear the strain and ache but also practice and love from every word, when it was over, he slowly opened his eyes and held out his arms, not knowing if something would return the gesture, or could.

_"What can I do for you?"_ He thought, though it seemed in this reality it was the only means of communication.

He felt something grasp his hands though nothing was physically there, he took a deep breath and tried to stay focused. He was good at these things, helping people and gems is what he does best after all.

_"I... wanted to hurt you."_

It hurt Steven to hear that but unfortunately, it was not unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope these were 2 okay chapters! Big stuff will happen ppl! Spinel is literally on the horizon! <3


	9. Drifting alone?

Time seemed to slow as Steven and the gem across him fell down towards the sandy beach below. The admission that the gem across wanted to hurt him, came as no surprise anymore as so many of the gems and humans that he'd met felt the same. But Steven committed himself to hearing the other out first.

  
"But... I don't anymore..." Steven hums and thinks she'll probably be looking at him with sincerity as he could hear her voice was wavering. He tries his best to stare ahead with a smile but it's difficult to focus as the glaring moon shines onto him. Her presence was undeniable and even a slight smell of cotton candy or sweets could be smelt, her aura was playful but stronger was the feeling of sorrow and loneliness.

"It was a long time ago I came here to hurt you... _I think?_ But something went wrong, _so very wrong..._ and now I'm here and so _close!_ " Her voices goes from loud to softly spoken, he feels her presence push towards him spiralling them round in a circle before the moon is back staring at him, "But... you've always been so far... _I can't reach you!_ "

He continues to listen to her, to her story and how hurt she's been over many thousands of years, left alone with an empty promise of return. He doesn't waver in expression but inside he feels sympathy for her and wants to fully embrace her. But the risk of cutting off this... dream? or whatever _this_ is, wasn't worth an embrace yet. For now he continues to listen as they fall.

He didn't notice the silence between them until she spoke again, "...Why can't you see me?" She sniffles suddenly and Steven snaps from his stupor, "Can't you see that I exist?"

He panics a little from her outburst "I'm trying but..."

"I don't need an exorcist!" She yells above her, the clouds shift and swirl let me out, "Look at me?" Steven feels a gloved hand reach and pull his cheek towards the nothing in front of him, "I'll appear?" Her voice wavers to where he can hear the tears fall down her face, "Why?" Her thumb rubs his cheek sadly, "Why can't you see that I'm right here?"

Steven takes a deep breath and exhales up into the sky, where the stormy clouds dissolve back into calm and the glittery stars sparkle so brightly. He pays attention back to the invisible gem across from him, whom seemingly is crying and sniffling. _She's so familiar._

He reaches out to hopefully her face and tries to rub away the tears, "I don't know why I can't see you... but maybe that doesn't matter? I know you are hurting and I wanna help?" he smiles, "I wanna say that I can't believe Mom did that to you... but unfortunately I can." He goes back to holding her hands, "You... you aren't the only one she hurt..."

"Yeah... I've seen a lot on Earth... well, actually bits and pieces... But! the point is.. I saw her hurt a lot of the people around her... even you..."

Steven nodded, "Maybe not intentionally but yes, she hurt a lot of us with her choices... but that's why you should come back with me? You could make new friends..."

"No... it would never work... I don't know where I am anymore." She sighed, "Why don't you... join me?"

It was like a wave washed over him. Despite being high, actually upon looking down he could see he was nearly level with the roof of his house which turned that sweetly pink hue once more.

_"Today, right here, right now..."_

She looked across at him, her gemstone brightly glimmering in reflection to his own beautiful and perfect diamond. She had good intentions really... for so long she craved his touch and admiration in his eyes.

_"I'll love again.. I've already found someone..."_

With time he'd see her... She waited so long already... She's seen so much with only the waves from the sea to give her sight. It was cruel, so close but so far. _So alone..._

"Who'll treat me better... who wants me around?" It really was an ask, she looked at those now glazed but still beautiful pink eyes. She dared to allow herself to be that little closer before they reached the ground, hugging him tightly in the hopes that just maybe this time together won't be forgotten.

_"Right here... right now... somehow..."_

His hands twitch though left outstretched, she wanted those hands to wrap around her and hold her tight. She could make him now that he's in her grasp. _Bless him._ She felt the resistance from within his diamond and from the human that is Steven, the two halves of a whole.

_"You're gonna feel found..."_

She stood on her tippy toes to reach his cheek, the gravity pulled them down and now unable to pull herself up, he reached to peck his cheek. It was then that a flash of brilliant light flooded through his gem into hers, she saw everything, from his birth to this moment in clarity. So many people and gems all reached out to him with utter love and devotion in there eyes. She could see them through his eyes and though it saddened her, she made her choice.

_'No...'_ she thought, _'You won't join me... you have too many people here who love you.'_

When she pulled back, expecting to see a blank stare or nothing back. She felt a tug in her sad heart as tears fell down Steven's face. She reached a hand and went to wipe away those tears when she felt sand finally beneath her shoes. She watched as his form fell into his human body, of which had made its way to the beach to meet them both.

She pulled him just a little closer to the water, until his feet were near the water, readying herself to say goodbye. Still in a trance, he wasn't smiling anymore and stared ahead into the water, though tears fell down his cheeks still though she really wasn't sure if they were for her anymore. However, it would seem that to everyone else he looks like he staring into nothing, deep in thought, but to her she pretended that he was looking at her. _A small comfort._

Her hands gently cusped along his jaw to his ears, she tucked a stray piece of hair behind his ear and for a final time, she pulled him slowly towards her. Her heart yearned for his. This she knew so well and if it wasn't for that little resistance left in him, scared and confused, she might well have taken him with her. A part of her heart... _no_... her coding, meant that she was to make him happy but whenever he saw her she felt sorrow from deep within his heart. _She had to let him go._

Finally she pulled back to grasp his still slightly shaking hands, even now under her hypnotic song he was fighting back. Before he could break free and awaken, she shook her head and apologised. "I'm sorry Steven, you are better off without silly lil me. Don't worry though... _I won't let you remember me._ "

His hands tightened around hers, " _Please..._ " He whispered so quietly, she had to stop to listen, " _I... can help..._ "

Now his hands grasped hers tightly, she had to blink to properly see his expression, her heart ached as tears fell down his face, "Don't be sad my love," she let her hand play through his hair, " _You'll love again._ " She leaned to peck his forehead, the final kiss before she'd rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are... she's here and I can't help but wonder what everyone thinks?  
> I'm very eager to read your thoughts? is this what you expected? ^.^/


	10. Open your eyes, open your eyes

  
The sun was rising and the tide slowly made its way into the shore. She stayed huddled close to him for just a little longer before she'd retreat back into her gem. Her form was bubbling into seafoam again as it struggled to sustain her.

He hadn't spoken again and his eyes were still heavily glazed pink. She sighed and pulled back, ready to drift back into the ocean again but clumsily she found herself clinging straight back onto his shirt in a goofy manner.

" _ **Steven** **!**_ " Came an angry cry from the house.

Spinel peaked over him and saw three very different gems, jumping from the door of the house and into the sandy beach bellow and across from her and Steven. She'd seen them all over the years too.

The fusion was a Ruby and a Sapphire, she watched as much as she could of the wedding between the two of them but the fight caused her gem to further slip... Garnet she thinks the fusion is called. The Amethyst had changed a lot over time, becoming more mature and responsible but also keeping her playful side. All that's left is _her_ Pearl. _She hates the Pearl._

"Release him at once!" The fusion, Garnet, yelled whilst summoning her gauntlets with the other gems following suit.

_Spinel hid in front of him, she was scared, how would they see her? Do they even see her at all? She's going to release him! She will!_

She took a deep breath and attempted to tidy up her messy, watery form... _she really needed a new style..._ "Y-you must be Garnet!" Spinel peaked her head back over his shoulder, "And Amethyst... and Pink Diamond's Pearl..." Admittedly she growled at that, "Isn't this just... swell?"

She lightly chuckled to try and calm the situation and was even about to take a step out away from Steven but she gasped and flinched straight back, as suddenly and unexpectedly, as though time had slowed down, a spear cut through the air next to her. It flew so fast by that it sliced through the ocean and landed nearby with a _crash_.

It was Pearl's spear that had been thrown but she hadn't expected to see her hiding in front of Steven, "It can't be..." Pearl whispered, her hand instinctively clutching in front of her mouth. She looked horrified at the face of the _creature_ that dared to be near Steven.

Amethyst and Garnet looked at Pearl in disbelief, "You know her Pearl?" Trust her for not sharing any information earlier, "Can you tell us who she is?"

Pearl shook her head, "I can't confirm it's really _her_ or not... she looks similar but Pink's Spinel looked much more... playful and kind."

"Spinel--"

"Who am I..." She groaned loudly and slapped her face, "What are you even saying! I'm the loser of the game here!" She huffed, "Not that you even knew we were playing..."

"Let him go!" Pearl called angrily as her darling Rose's son was once again at risk of being taken away from her. She couldn't believe that Amethyst was onto something, couldn't believe Garnet didn't predict this, couldn't forgive herself for being so naïve. She clutched onto her next spear tightly ready to throw it again should that thing _dare_ to try and jump at them again. Rather frustratingly they watched as she cowardly huddled in front of Steven again, using him as her shield against them.

But all the while, Steven looked down at the gem who was clutching so tightly at his shirt, she was breathing erratically and panicking, her form on the brink of near exploding from the stress and instability. His gem was likely the only thing that was keeping her here. She was muttering to herself _"Here in the garden..."_ She'd pull at her watery hair, _"L-let's play a game..."_ Then she'd cry. _She didn't even notice him wrap an arm around her._

To him the world around them both was small and pink as though he was enclosed inside a bubble. He knew that there were others around them both but he didn't find himself caring. Right here was a suffering gem that needed his help and right now he'll help again. _He popped the bubble._

Garnet put her hand in front of Amethyst and Pearl, both of whom were readying themselves to launch at the potentially dangerous gem. They watched Steven closely who's arms had dropped from being outstretched. 

Amethyst clutched her whip tightly in frustration, she knew the 'plan' would fail and that this would happen! They had relied on Garnet too much, they had been to lenient on the sleepwalking, they are too late! They all could see that glazed pink look in his normally dark brown eyes, he was being controlled and the gem pulling the strings was whatever that was right behind him.

Garnet noticed the sand beneath Steven swirl slightly as he turned towards them. To all of their surprise, he had an arm wrapped around the watery figure to protect her, "Stop this!" he forcibly yelled and looked at them with angry eyes, "You don't understand! She needs me! and... and I need her!"

The statement was loud and struck a chord with each of the Crystal Gems, they each took a step back, anticipating something from him. Amethyst took a glance at Pearl, tears were streaking down her face, she fought back her own tears and watched Garnet, whom still had her gauntlets formed. She looked back at Steven and felt her whip nearly fall from her grip.

Steven's face had softened and his shoulders slouched, "You don't need me anymore..."

Garnet shook her head feverishly, "You're wrong! We love you Steven!" Garnet took a step forward, "She is manipulating you, you don't really feel that way..." She swiped the glasses off her, tears from both Ruby and Sapphire spilled, "Maybe we haven't been considering your feelings now but... one day with our help, you will be better again! So please Steven." Pearl and Amethyst stood by her side, "For me?" Garnet finally allowed herself to feel sorrow as Steven expression was unsure, he even looked back at the watery gem.

Just like in the dreams she looked see through and unreal, her entire form was wobbly but only slightly more stable now as he stood in her place, he knew now that it was Spinel he was talking to and maybe it was her controlling his feelings and maybe he was risking too much by taking her side. He could see Pearl there crying with Amethyst and Garnet only just holding it together.

Garnet flinched as she was about to intervene but in that moment they could see the conflict in his eyes, from dark brown to pink, they truly believed that he'd broken free from her spell as he closed his eyes and took a few small steps away from the figure and even smiled as he did so. But Sapphire saw it, multiple realities playing so fast she had to grab a confused Pearl and Amethyst so quickly as Steven launched himself towards the three of them, his eyes ominously pink, lunged and punched the ground where they stood.

The vibration through the ground was so powerful that it was likely to have affected Beach City in some way. The blast brought up the sand and created a shroud for Steven to be able to launch himself again at the three of them, his shield cutting through the sand and straight into Garnet, whom was about to throw herself at him.

The shield knocked Garnet back to the stunned Pearl and Amethyst, she landed far back in utter disbelief. Pearl clutched her shirt so tightly and watched helplessly as in her eyes, Pink was stood with her back turned towards her, ready to leave her and never come back.

Amethyst took a turn at launching back at him but he looked sharply towards her, his blank expression enough to cause her to stumble and fall flat. "Steven please!" she yelled, her hand reaching for him, "Don't fall for her tricks!"

Garnet pulled herself up and put a hand over her mouth as her mind spiralled with conflict. White butterflies were threatening to swarm around her, ready to strike and bring her fear to reality.

The watery figure, so different to them all, hadn't moved throughout it all. Clearly in deep thought and conflict as it watched Steven attack the gems with no regard, as though she wasn't controlling him, but Amethyst refused to believe that.

Spinel watched it all with conflict flickering in her gem the coding telling her this is all wrong and that he should return to there side, the other side of her that had morphed and changed into what she is now, _craves his love and affection all for herself._ She fought those feelings for so long but now the opportunity was here and he was the one cutting the ropes for her.

The situation was serious really but... a part of her was in awe at him walking towards her. He had a smile in his eyes and be it because of how she was made, or whether her feelings were so strong, but right now he glowed so sweetly and had such adoration in expression.

Like a lovestruck fool she ignored her inhabitations. She smiled back at him and with her final ounce of strength she reached out to him. Not paying attention to the other gems who had threatened her before.

They all were furious as they watched figure had her arms out stretched, she swooped towards him as he finally collapsed into her loving arms. She nuzzled his hair and looked at the gems with utmost glee in her expression.

Garnet couldn't bare it anymore, throwing caution into the wind, she launched herself towards them both. Time seemed to tick so slow in this moment as she reached out to grab his pink jacket, Sapphire predicted the chance to grab him was low but they had to try. Steven taught them both to live in the now and right now, he needed them. _Whether he wanted their help or not._

But still with a sinister glee, she pulled them both back towards the ocean, to where she slept, his eyes were closed and expression peaceful as the water engulfed them both. Leaving Garnet to fall shy from where they stood, she was quick to get up and throw herself into the ocean after them but they were gone. To her confusion it was shallow where they had just stood, all Garnet could see was her own reflection, the sad look in both Ruby and Sapphire's eyes looked back at her, she punched the sand in bitter frustration.

A terribly echo of a familiar and haunting ringtone played, Pearl could hardly move without feeling dizzy and sick but she dared to glance over to the side where Steven's phone lay in the centre of the punch. _A picture of Connie was on the screen._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a true kinda love? ^.^


	11. Why don't you talk to each other?

  
When the sand had settled and the sea had returned to a peaceful rhythm, all these things betrayed how the gems felt in this moment. No one spoke, no one moved and no one wanted to hear his phone ring that ominous tone.

It was Amethyst who sat herself upright, her hair was messy and she had little cuts up her arms from the sudden grab from before as well as the debris from Steven's punch. _She couldn't believe that he'd actually lunged at them with such a **smile** on his face._ She reached up to her mouth as for the first time in a long time did she genuinely feel so ill that she wanted to throw up.

But slow and clumsy footsteps shifting through the sand made her look up. Pearl let her spear fall into the sand with a thud as she hobbled over towards where Garnet was sat. Her eyes were wide and tears were streaming down her cheeks.

"Pearl..." Amethyst instinctively reached and grabbed Pearl's hand but Pearl snatched her hand back clutching it close to her chest. She watched as Pearl then swayed on her feet mumbling to herself between the tears and quiet sobs.

Amethyst sighed and shook her head, "...You should probably leave Garnet to--" Cutting her off, Amethyst saw her form burst into a bright light and jumped up throwing herself to catch Pearl's pearl. She couldn't stop the tears that fell down her cheeks as she held her dear friends gem in the cusp of her hands, she rubbed the sand off it and pulled it up to her chest, "Not cool Pearl..." Amethyst half-heartedly chuckled, her hand pushing the hair from her eyes, "Always gotta be dramatic huh?" She looked down at Pearl for a while, unsure of what to do, she glanced at Garnet but it seemed she hadn't moved. Taking a deep breath Amethyst formed a bubble around Pearl, " _He's just helping someone again..._ " she whispered, " _He'll come back._ " and sent her to the temple.

With effort Amethyst pushed herself to her feet and walked towards Garnet. Her gauntlets were gone but her hands were still in the water, which was nearly surrounding her lower half. She was staring into the water, her tears falling into the ocean. Amethyst reached and put her hand gently onto Garnet, who flinched at the contact.

Garnet turned to look at Amethyst, the two didn't say anything but the feelings they both felt were mutual. With the visor gone she could see Garnet hurting in her eyes alone as both Ruby and Sapphire were crying heavily. "Um," Amethyst pulled herself back a little, "D-don't worry Garnet! I think it'll work out okay?" She tried to keep her together and looked to the side awkwardly, her hand running through her hair.

"..Where is... Pearl?"

Amethyst felt a chill down her back, her hair seemed to spike from Garnet's cold voice she looked at her and felt helpless as her arms were wrapped around her waste, her body rocking slightly back and forth.

"She..." She knelt down in front of Garnet her hands trying to reach for there's as both Ruby and Sapphire were clearly trying to keep together, "She's.. at the temple." It wasn't a lie.

"The _temple_... temple? safe... but... but... I _could've_.... it's okay! No!" Garnet was tossing and grunting as they both were tearing at the seams, "I _should_ have listened! But we couldn't... But. I. _Could_!"

Amethyst braced herself as Garnet's form finally poofed with the extreme burst of emotion, Ruby was up high in the air.

"Sapphi!" Ruby grabbed her beloved Sapphire, and held her close trying desperately to fuse with her again. Her cries were a mixture of apologies and anger, "Let me help you!" Ruby tried once more to fuse with Sapphire, Amethyst had to watch as the form of Garnet kept falling apart, she felt awful having to hear Ruby's desperate cries. She closed her eyes and looked aside before she heard a thud. Ruby, unsuccessful, fell into the sand and water.

Tightly held close to her chest, safe from any water, sand or rocks was Sapphire. Ruby held onto her gem so tightly and cried so loudly, her fist smacked into the water, over and over again. Amethyst cringed every time she heard Ruby hit the water. _She really wasn't the best for these situations._

"Why Sapphi? You won't at least listen to what I have to say?" Ruby mumbled into the gem, "Y- You go and hide in there every time! It hurts Sapphi..." She sat herself upright and looked out towards the endless ocean, her eyes scanning as if Steven would just pop out of the water with a silly smile on his face, "But." She said with a huff, "This ol' Ruby Rider is Ruby riding alone... she's a sturdy.. solitary... gem.. stone..." Ruby glanced down at her hands, they were shaking, she huddled in herself trying not to poof.

Once again Amethyst knelt down and put her hand on Ruby's shoulder, she flinched and glanced back at Amethyst. "If um... you need time to heal? In your gem then... don't worry! I'll look after you." She tried to smile reassuringly.

But Ruby shrugged off Amethyst's hand and stood up, "Nah, I reckon I'll be alright." She amusingly brought out her cowboy hat and attire, "But... if it be 'right with you... I'm gonna go talk to Greg."

"What about Sapphire?" Amethyst asked and could see Ruby visible tense up, her left hand still holding Sapphire's gem, "It isn't safe to walk around with her."

She was right and Ruby knew that it was risky taking Sapphire with her. _Especially because Ruby didn't know what to do with herself right now, let alone be responsible for Sapphire._ She looked up at Amethyst and nodded, with a heavy heart she pecked Sapphire's gem and wrapped her in a bubble before sending her to the temple to rest. "I guess Pearl...?"

"Yeah..." Amethyst felt awkward about this as Ruby looked solemnly at the temple before looking back at her, "When you go see Greg, remember to be _gentle_... in how you speak to him and... I know this is selfish but... can you um... ask Greg to talk to Connie for me? I don't think I can handle speaking to her." she smiled tiredly.

Ruby nodded and returned the smile, "Can do ma'am." She tipped her hat and took off towards Beach City. Amethyst watched her go and relaxed her tense body. She took a deep sigh and went over to where Steven's phone was.

"Seven missed calls... Guess Connie really wanted to talk to him today." She mumbled to herself and though temptation was there to flick through his phone, she unlocked it, _just to have a peak._

But before she could get to any messages she felt something crash into her. She looked down and Ruby had her arms wrapped around Amethyst, her eyes looked frantic, "Connie is here!!!" Sure enough, running around the corner with a pink lion... was Connie. She had her phone in her hand and her sword in the other. _Bit dramatic?_

Once she was close enough to Amethyst, whom looked unimpressed and extremely tired, she opened fire, "Where is Steven? Is he okay? I've tried to call-- Why do you have his phone?!"

With Ruby still clinging to Amethyst and now Connie being here after she'd just seen two of her friends poof out of pure emotional distress, she really wasn't in the mood for this. She crossed her arms and flicked the hair from her eyes, "I don't know where he is Connie, yes he'll be okay..."

"His car is still here though so..." She took a glance around an saw the dent in the sand, "What.. happened?!" She was clearly very concerned but the way she spoke was very grating.

"We had a little fight, he's gone to cool off." Again, it wasn't necessarily a lie, "He'll be okay, I know that isn't a satisfying answer right now but me and Ruby need some time." She reached out to Connie's shaking hands, "You have to trust me." They both looked each other in the eyes.

Connie sighed and shook her head, "Does Steven's dad know yet?"

"Not yet ma'am! But Ruby Rider is headin' over now, gotta be... gentle about it." She said with her fake accent. It helped defuse the situation slightly with Amethyst letting Connie's hands go.

"Right..." Connie rubbed an eye in irritation, she wasn't happy not knowing what happened but she also wasn't as naïve as she was. Clearly something bigger than just a 'little' fight happened if Garnet wasn't here and Pearl was gone. Though she didn't suspect a gem attack as Steven is always here smoothly talking to them with his happy smile... "I expect you'll let me know what happened soon?"

Amethyst nodded, "Just... give me time."

Connie nodded back and hopped on the back of Lion, "Oh and please answer my calls next time. I missed an important class today because of this." _She didn't wait for Amethyst to reply, she didn't see how Amethyst's expression changed to anger._

Ruby let Amethyst go and less enthusiastically began to walk to Beach City again. She didn't dare speak after that but before she turned the corner away from her home, she heard Amethyst slam the door. She looked at her right hand where Sapphire should be and held back the tears. _I need you Sapphi..._

As for Amethyst, she lay down on the couch with her face against the cushions. Steven's phone was on the floor next to her, not that she cared right now, she just snuggled into the couch and tried to relax. _Connie really said that._ "Please answer my calls," She mocked and scoffed, "Whatever..."

Usually the temple was bustling with life but now it was horrifically silent. She didn't usually like the silence of it as it took her back to when she was alone at the Kindergarten. However after all that'd happened, she was thankful for a few moments of peace.

"STEVEN!" Came the nasally voice of a certain gem that Amethyst really didn't have the patience for, "IT'S SPINEL! I HAVE INFORMATION ON HER!"

Amethyst looked up and watched as the door slammed opened and in walked a very excited Peridot and very chilled out Lapis.

"WHERE IS STEVEN?"

She groaned and let her head hit the soft cushion. _It was going to be a long day._


	12. Epilogue

The stars glimmered brightly above, Amethyst looked up at them all wondering if her famethyst were looking down at her right now. _She really needed them._ But they weren't going to randomly come for a visit, they were busy mingling with the hundreds upon thousands of other gems out there.

Amethyst was fine with that, really, she understood they all had each other long before her. She was just the smallest and the one who took longer than them to emerge. They brought up past trauma and laughed about it, but only because they didn't understand what bitter loneliness she'd endured after that. _It was okay._

"Amethyst?" Peridot put her hand on Amethyst's trembling leg, to still her and ground her back to reality, "Is everything okay?"

Amethyst looked at Peridot and saw her slap her forehead, "Hey, yeah it's... i'm fine." She grabbed Peridot's hand and lightly pecked her forehead, "Don't hit yourself. I appreciate you asking if i'm alright... it helps." To which she let Peridot go, and Peridot started rambling on about Spinel again, but Amethyst didn't have the energy to keep up with her.

Instead, she found her eyes drifting towards Greg, who threw a match onto the pile of wood. It was a difficult decision on whether they should still meet, and not everyone that was here, was _happy_ to be here. Amethyst glanced at Connie who was sat on a lone log with her phone in front of her pouting face.

Lion was sat behind Greg with eyes glaring at the young teen. He had been quick to teleport back to the house after Connie left. They'd been so close for years, after Steven asked Lion to protect Connie at college but now he stayed with Greg. Most everyday he'd sit and whine as he stared out into the ocean.

Sudden boisterous laughter took her attention back towards Lapis who was being comforted by Bismuth, the two weren't particularly close but they were growing friends. They were keen on searching for Steven, everyone was, but Amethyst wasn't hopeful that they'd actually find him. _He'd vanished in front of her very own eyes into the ocean..._

"Another thing about corruption is environment! I believe if a gem is in a certain area, their corruption will affect their appe--"

"Alright everyone..." Greg spoke up and everyone's conversations halted as they looked at him, "So..." he sighed and rubbed the back of his head, "Today is an important day! We may not have the birthday boy here with us, but we'll play our songs for him." Greg looked at them all and tried his best to smile cheerfully, "Anyone want to start?" He immediately felt a little crestfallen as no one was keen on starting but then it wasn't the happy night it could've been.

"Oo! Oo! Me!" Ruby had her hand held up high, "I got a good one!" Her smile was bright and fiery, Greg nodded and handed her the guitar. She plucked the strings before taking a big breath in, "Oh... When a difficult day goes by... keeping it together is hard but that's why... we gotta try! we gotta try!"

* * *

When the light of the fire was dim and the stars shone so brightly that they almost reminded Amethyst of White Diamond... Lapis had gone back to Little Homeworld, as for Connie and Greg, they were packing up supplies into his van. Peridot was the last gem to stay with Amethyst as Ruby and Bismuth went to visit Pearl and Sapphire, though now Peridot had made her excuses and left to presumably find Lapis.

"Thank you for being here Connie... How are you holding up?" Greg nudged at the sleepy Connie who rubbed her eyes and yawned.

"I'm..." _another yawn,_ "Okay, um, college is going great I was hoping to get Steeven..." She looked at Greg, unsure of whether to continue, but he was smiling and nodding, "...to join us sometime but you know Steven..."

_"He always did what he wanted!"_   
_"-did what he wanted!"_

They both laughed.

"What about you Mr. Universe?" Connie asked with a sincere grin, "Your song was really lovely tonight."

"Mm... I'm not in a bad place so to say..." He hummed as he put his guitar away in his van, "But I have hope... after all, Steven was like his mother in so many ways... Always helping others..." He reminisced and chuckled.

"...But... not entirely right?" Connie questioned, "I'm not saying he didn't help people but... isn't it a little unfair to compare him to Rose?" She tapped her chin, "He has many of your traits too."

He was a little surprised by that, he wasn't entirely sure on how to take that information. The gems always saw Rose in him that he never considered the thought that Steven would have traits from him too, "Um, well thanks!" He smiled, "No one has said that before... it never crossed my mind."

Amethyst ignored their conversation as she poured water over the fire and watched with tired eyes as it sizzled. It caught their attention, Connie and Greg walked over to her though they were both unsure of what to say, so Greg opted to put a hand on her shoulder gently.

"You... alright?" He said cautiously.

Amethyst kindly took his hand off her shoulder and turned to them both, "I'm good.. you guys off?"

Greg and Connie glanced at one another, "Yeah, i'd best take Connie back... his Lion seems to be waiting for him too."

_'Or he just isn't happy with Connie right now?'_ Amethyst thought to herself. She just seemed to take this so differently to everyone... It all seemed some silly game to her, as though she didn't care that he might not come back at all. Or when he does, _they may be dead._

"Alright. Take care." Amethyst said a little coldly as she strode over to Lion. He looked at her and she looked at him, they never really interacted before. But it seemed they both felt the same in this moment and came to an unspoken understanding.

As he lay on his side, she sat with her back against his stomach. Neither were uncomfortable, rather they took comfort in each other. She gently stroked his fur until she finally heard his van drive away. With only the ocean being any sound she sighed.

Carefully she pulled out of her gem a very special gift. Something that she hadn't used in many years and was crafted with little hands. It's colours were faded but the strings were well tuned. Steven had used this many times growing up, he was gifted with his music and instruments, he'd sang to Amethyst many times when she was sad or happy.

It was shortly after when peace was declared to all gemkind that Steven really started to grow. He outgrew so many things in favour of keeping busy establishing peace. She found his ukulele on the floor, it was tossed aside and forgotten and as much as she tried to not associate her feelings with it. It was inevitable... as Steven grew up and changed like Rose wanted Amethyst felt... left behind.

She sat herself in the sand and threw back her hair, a light breeze helped keep it behind her back as she put her fingers on the strings. She plucked them quietly at first unsure if it would sound right. But who was she kidding... it sounded perfect, just like Steven.

She took a big breath and exhaled,

  
_"I don't need you to respect me, I respect me..._

  
_I don't need you to love me, I love me..._

  
_But I want you to know you could know me..._

  
_If you change your mi-i-i-i-i-i-ind..."_

They had an impact on her then and they continue to impact her now. She sung as sincerely as she could. Even if no person or gem was here to listen, she sang out into the ocean and she hoped that just maybe if anyone... Steven could hear her voice and that it brought comfort.

When her phone rang unexpectedly, Amethyst put the ukulele down and checked to see who it was. Peridot? She groaned and almost didn't answer but if it's Peridot ringing then it must be important.

"Hello?"

"AMETHYST?! WE GOT A PROB--"

"Whoa! Whoa, Peri, not so loud---"

"IT'S THE DIAMONDS!"

She looked out at the ocean with tears threatening to fall but she sighed and wiped them away and stood. The ukulele put back into the safety of her gem ready to be used another day.

Now in the place of Steven, she stood, ready to cast aside her insecurities and worries. Now as the sun rose in the horizon and the breeze flowing through her hair, she raised the phone back to her ear, Peridot was rambling.

"Peri... i'm on my way."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it.  
>  I had an amazing time writing this story for everyone.  
>  I hope you all enjoyed it! :3  
>  I also wanna know if people are indeed interested for more?
> 
> I also have other Steven/Spinel stories in mind if people want something new?  
>  I'm open to suggestions, prompts etc.  
>  If you have any questions about the story, feel free to ask <3   
>  May you all have a fantastic day!

**Author's Note:**

> All chapters will be over at least 1,000 words.  
> I ask for feedback or any thoughts! Big or small! A comment can inspire!  
> ^.^


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